I Quit !!!

With each passing single day, 

With each dark twilight, 

With each silent sleepless night, 

 Life’s turning another blank page. 

 Blames and rejections ,

 Sadness and despair, 

As they become my reflections, 

With no hopes to spare. 

 I tried in every possible way, 

But fail I did each time, 

As the cloud shut every ray, 

I knew the defeat was mine.

 Tired of the pressures around, 

Being pushed to the limit,

 Breaking down without a sound,

 I silently say .... I QUIT !!!

Is it worth it ??

A seemingly empty mind,
and a long blank stare,
the mind full of endless questions,
and the look with loads of share....

Is the anger worth it,
with so much love around,
Is so much distance needed,
when life's just around ??

Is it worth it ??


Why are bonds so weak,
a breeze breaks them apart,
Why is trust so easy to shake,
Why is it easy to hurt ??

Is it worth it ??

Why is anger so blinding,
the next step seems unclear,
Why is hurt so demanding,
that for the rest it turns a deaf ear ??

Is it worth it ??

Does one think twice,
before uttering harsh words,
Does one realise the price ,
of losing loved ones ??

Is it worth it ??

At the end of the road,
when we look back,
have we gained some,
or have we lost a lot ??

Is it worth it ??

Am i doing it right,
or taken a wrong turn again?
Is it yet another dark night,
with no light to gain ?

I want to trust again
but each cell says no,
cause I'm scared of the pain ?
or the past is not letting me go ?

I see a very bright light
Is it sunrise or the end of the day?
It is blinding my sight,
not able to find the right way.

Friend, you've helped me stand
when I was really low,
You've held my hand
and made me walk through the door.

I'm scared to lose you,
like the others before
and I don't have a clue
how to open the door.

So.... I wanted to ask you.........

Am I binding you down,
Am I choking you too ??
Am I doing it yet again,
Am I losing you too??

Sidhivinayak Darshan ---- what does it mean for people??

Angarki chaturthi again --- Ganpati Bappa called me again !!! like he called around lakhs of his devotees as one just doesnt go to Sidhivinayak....HE calls !!!!!
Took a Casual leave on tuesday and reached Sidhivinayak at around 11pm ..... a looooong queue awaiting me.
Standing in the line, people talking, some praying, making new friends,including 2 sweet old uncles, looking at them gave me strength throughout,night passing by slowly and steadily !!! Surprisingly though, God doesnt differentiate between his devotees but we do..........so there were 3 lines for HIS darshan.... VIP Line, Ladies line and of course hum aam janta ki line !!!! HE must be wondering too !!!
anyways so hum aam janta stood there patiently, time passing by...
at 5 am we finally reached the entry of the big huge ground ..... where the second phase of the journey begins..........

There i started seeing the anticlimax of the story............ of the darshan......
all those people, the devotess standing with a smile on their face the entire night....... losing their patience minute by minute.

Young people, boys and girls........shouting ...... not Ganesh mantra anymore..... cracking loud disturbing jokes. cheating on lines and crossing people wrongly. so many of them, who came late, much later than many, crossing them .... either jokingly or strongly by making their way by force.

Surprising thing was the proportion ---- the percentage of people standing in devotion and the people who had come over for a picnic!!!
Picnic with GOD, not a bad idea at all.... but atleast don't disturb the rest standing in peace !!

The volunteers trying in vain the whole night to keep things at peace, trying to sort problems out, give people water,tea to keep them hydrated and awake..........but no value for it. sadly though there were no dustbins for the teacups and water glasses.......so we had to drop them on the ground and were getting regularly picked up !!!! but come on...........why to throw half filled water glasses , or throw water at others !!! Ridiculous !!!

Of course.........another thing......all the females learnt to have great control on their bladders ......... for obvious reason that there were no ladies toilets outside and one couldnt go inside other than the line !!! so one minor problem by the organisation!!!

Rest of the chaos, the fiasco only we to blame !!! us the public !!! us the youth !!!! us the so called "devotees" !!!!!! us only to be ashamed of the fact that so many old people got stuck up for hours for a darshan, tired and hungry !!

Neverthless............. after all this...........when i saw HIM........... gone was the tiredness, the thirst, the full bladder , the chaos, the unruliness of people, the irritation at seeing the condition of the place and the public , Everything !!!!!!!! all what was left was HIM and me !! and it was phenomenal as always !! Whatever said , howmuch ever said about HIM will be less !!

Waiting for the next time HE calls me , hoping it is soon !!!
People please don't forget ............ we dont make plans to go !!! we dont decide to go !!!! HE calls !!!! Respect HIM and HIS feelings for us !! chill, enjoy the darshan you want to ............but dont hurt others!!
Bolo Ganpati Bappa Morya !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Car....icide--- suicide or homicide???

Every day is a new life. we don't know what's next. whether the next moment is there or not???............. these and many more such thots are of my dearest and only and only............my darling car !!

she is scared of driving on roads now, with these machines called human beings roaming on the roads caring a damn what can hit them...!!!

people, who are handicapped without their cell phones, walking on the road, sharing their life.....and not caring about my car's life.
they know if a poor car hits them, the car will get battered and the driver behind the bars. They know that with the consumer protection acts in today's world, they are untouchables........the high and mighty !!!! second to God !!! Dangerous walking human beings.
NO CAR PROTECTION ACTS HOW SAD !!!!!!!!

Bikers --- second most dangerous disease for the car. They bruise the car, hurt the carm, scratch it and its soul.....everytime they pass by. Seeing my car and its scratches along the sides is a sad reminder of each biker who has shown his valour and braver riding at speed between my car and the divider and between 2 cars.....


The list is endless of the tortures , she has to face in the daily life!

Her condition is detiorating day by day, her breaths more ragged. the bruises increasing and the colour of her life fading !!!

She goes on the road daily, wondering whether its suicide she's commiting or a homicide by humans !!

My car...icide........suicide or homicide ????

God's strange ways.

God's strange plans for me
and stranger ways for them,
countless nights and days,
spent understanding them.

But to no avail at all,
they being way beyond,
with every rise and fall,
my spirit goes 2 steps behind.


Everyone says trust HIM,
HE's the answer to each problem,
But hope's becoming dim,
with each raindrop each storm.

I get up and walk straight
till the next blow puts me down,
looking questioningly at my fate,
wondering where i went wrong.

God's strange plans for me
and stranger ways for them!!

am called a fool !

Am called a fool.... 

tears in my eyes come, 

with mere clap of hands or

 harsh word of a friend. 

 Am called a fool....

 to be selfless in love to 

not understand at all

not to help without a call. 

 Am called a fool

to never leave a friend, 

who's been harsh and unkind,

 thinking friendship doesn't end. 

 Am called a fool

 for my truthful and honest ways, 

Am called a fool.

and will be always. 

 Am called a fool

Am proud to be one,

 Never to go by the rule,

 I accept to be alone !