Relationship -- encompasses so many ! Each relationship on a different plane. Each having its own place, its own rights, its own expectations and its own failures.
Started wondering recently why do relationships fail at all ? when they are so full of love to begin with? Does the love go away ? Are our feelings that weak ? What is it that makes a strong relationship weak ?
Got a few answers and then got a few more questions too :)
Each relationship begins with the fundamental principle of
Oneness and then moves ahead in different directions -- different branches of the same root i.e oneness.
Oneness - as the name suggests -- is " being one". and obviously in being one with someone - there are no conditions, no strings attaches as u r simply one with that person. The comfort zone is endless. Each moment is accepted with no qualms.
Then comes the minds play and we start defining and categorizing this oneness..into various forms... various forms of love.
The love stays as it is -- the form changes and each definition comes with its own baggage.
The baggage has some good stuff too -- which is generally not seen or valued... as it gets weighed down with the heavier stuff. What we all forget is the lighter, more beautiful, more precious -- lies at the bottom and once we throw the heavier stuff out - the baggage itself is beautiful
Our ego being the heaviest :) makes the most use of a given situation. It acts well according to its nature. It creates limitations in ones mind. It creates differences in the oneness causing the rifts wide and huge. it gives rise to expectations -- which at one point had no place.
In the entire chaos of ego and expectations playing in our minds ... something starts to slip away.
Having expectation is not the only harmful thing though -- in our love and our wish to safeguard the love/ keep the other happy -- we many a times start changing ourselves in bits and pieces, to get into the mould of the other ..... the bits and pieces soon join and become a big picture which at the end of making , leaves us to be a totally different person - one that we most often dont like as it is not US !!! And one is just not happy in another skin !
Of course as offshoots to the ego and expectations -- come in anger, jealousy, suffocation, bitterness,judgements, so on and so forth.
The lighter things which get bogged down are so easy to hold on to -- there is
love - which was the basis in the first place, then there is
faith too -- faith can move mountains they say, there is then
hope - just like pandora's box .. hope comes last, light as a feather but the strongest -- applying a salve to the wounds of the broken.
These thoughts are not unique -- neither are they special -- they are those that come across endless minds in each passing moment !
and the questions that come along too are : If one knows the root cause of all our misery, if one knows why a relationship shakes, or breaks ... if one knows what makes a strong tree fall with the slightest of the wind ... if one knows that love conquers all ... If one knows all this then why is the human mind not able to realize it ? Why does it let the feeling oneness dissolve away ? Why is the mind stronger than the heart which knows all ?
Why can't be one the branch that bends rather that one that breaks ?
When I thot about it more ... the desire for perfection ! The desire for perfection in the partner, in ourselves and in the relationship !! It starts eroding the relationship like slow poison.... n then the entire tree stands on the roots .... time length depending on the strength of the roots !
Written everywhere - there is no right/ wrong ... and we all keep saying that in our daily life ... making us seem very aware of life .. but do we follow that ?? NO -- all we think of in any relationship is who is right and who is wrong ? There goes our awareness - of ourselves, our souls ... all of it just goes down the drain !! It just requires one difference of thinking and it turns into an ugly war of right/wrong ... forgetting that there is no such thing and all is good !! we can simply agree to disagree on things in life .. maybe a few ... maybe all !! How does that take the love away ?? more important question -- why does it have that effect ??
to be contd...
